He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

The road is long

With many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where

Who knows when

But I'm strong

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Apologies if this week's theme song seems a little obvious. I'd been struggling to find the right one and then yesterday, after a week of nerves and niggles, I was driving to singing practice and this came on shuffle on the ipod.

I've already written about how I'd been worrying about the challenge so I don't want to dwell on that really. However, this week the reality of what we are about to do has hit us. We are walking for what will inevitably be more than 24 hours, without sleep, in rain and sun, with busted knees, aching hips, painful backs and, all (due to some unfortunate timing) over the toughest three days of Fran's chemotherapy cycle. 

Our team and how we pull together and support each other has become increasingly important and tomorrow it will mean the difference between finishing or not. 

Walking 100 kilometres is as much a mental endurance challenge as a physical one. Don't get me wrong, walking over ridiculous distances hurts. A lot. The balls of your feet burn. Blisters have gone from being one of those irritating things that happen when you buy a new pair of shoes, to the difference between being able to bear your own weight or not. But this week I've realised that our real challenge is in our heads. Carrying each other when that challenge seems too much is our real job here. Listening, supporting, reassuring, distracting, laughing together, crying together, singing badly and loudly (probably just me) - whatever we can do to get each other through. 

It's not going to be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. But we will do it, and we will do it together. Writing that, I know I'm talking as much about supporting Fran as I am about supporting our team. Fran's journey so far has been the toughest physical challenge she's ever faced. But it's the mental strength that makes the difference - knowing she has people thinking of her, knowing people are willing to share her journey. 

That's what we're here for, isn't it? It's what separates us from the animals - the ability to walk a long road with another human being, see them at their lowest point and know when they need carrying. To choose to join a person for all or part of their journey because you know that some things are easier when you are a team. 

Thank you for being part of our team, of Fran's team. We'll carry you with us tomorrow.

Lorna, Stuart, Jamie, Michelle, Emma, Siobhan & Shelly xxx

www.justgiving.com/franschallenge

Accentuate The Positive

You gotta accentuate the positive

Eliminate the negative

Latch on to the affirmative

Don't mess with Mr In-between

Accentuating the positive has been tough this past few weeks. Work has been busy, and a slog, and created some crappy moments for most of us. Fran has been completely wiped out by chemo. The training walks are getting tougher and longer, the blisters more common, the aches more painful. Emma has taken the brave but wise decision to only walk half of the 100k with us due to her back.

Since my last post we have walked 24 miles overnight without sleep on the Brampton Valley Way, and 20 miles from Braunston to Stoke Bruerne on a muggy, humid summer's day. Fran's white blood cell count has been so low that her consultant is considering a blood transfusion. It would be easy to latch onto the negative.

But that's not Fran's way. And so, it isn't our way either. 

Our night walk was hard, but we had a blast. We laughed, talked, supported and fed each other every step of the way. When things flew out of trees at us in the pitch dark we grabbed onto each other, shrieked, giggled and carried on walking.  Fran sent us a clip of the Scooby Doo theme tune just before we walked into a 700 metre pitch black tunnel at 2am. We celebrated with a big fat breakfast and a high five. We'd reached a milestone.

On last week's longest, muggiest, training walk there were plenty of positives to accentuate. A cafe that served cream tea, where the owner took pity on us and only charged us what Shelly happened to have in her purse - telling us to pay it forward (we will). Baby ducklings, as tiny as they were new to the world, paddling alongside us. Majestic herons, trying to fool us into thinking they were plastic and then swooping up into the trees just as we reached them. Fish and chips for lunch. Why make it harder than it needs to be? 

Speaking to Fran, it is so reassuring to hear her latching onto the affirmative. She celebrated her birthday this week and managed to get away for a few days with loved ones. She's focusing on creating the perfect days. Frankly, she's a lesson in accentuating the positive. She's determined for us to raise as much money as we possibly can because she believes that she has been lucky. Lucky to benefit from the research and hard work of Cancer Research UK and funded by the people who walked before us. Lucky that when her surgery to remove the tumour became so complicated that a 3 hour operation turned into a 7 hour operation, her surgeon had a network of cancer specialists to call on. Lucky that her nurses have been trained to understand both the medical and personal impact of cancer. Lucky that other people blazing a trail before her have been brave enough to share their fight with cancer, and therefore raise funds and awareness to pay it forward.

Tomorrow our training walk will take 10 hours - approximately 32 miles. On Sunday we will walk another 5 hours. We'll need to dig deep and I'm not going to lie; we are nervous. But if Fran can accentuate the positive every day of her fight with cancer, we are determined to savour every tea break, appreciate every heron, get excited by every tiny duckling and latch onto every positive along the route. 

Your support is essential to this - the messages we've had so far mean everything. Your money goes towards 'paying it forward' so that future 1 in 3's can consider themselves lucky. Please do share the love.

www.justgiving.com/franschallenge

Have a great weekend - don't mess with Mr In-Between!

Three Little Birds

Don't Worry About A Thing

'Cos Every Little Thing's Gonna Be Alright

Halfway through last weekend's 22.7 mile/7 hour training walk I checked my emails on my phone and had one from Fran. She'd shazamed Bob Marley's Three Little Birds and sent it to me. I guess she was thinking that around about mile 17, in 23 degree heat we might be needing some encouragement.

It's crazy when you think about it. Fran (in the middle of her fourth round of chemo) was sending me (out for a stroll in the sunshine) encouragement and motivation. It worked though. I love that song. 

I had been worrying. I am a bit of a worrier. I'd been worrying about whether we should have been taking more breaks, whether the others would be annoyed at me for wanting to take more breaks, whether I could stomach yet another cereal bar, whether the loos at Cosgrove lock would be open or if I'd be peeing in front of bemused sheep (again). 

Whether I really have it in me to walk 62 miles in less than 4 weeks time.

I have read all the books on worrying. You know; focus on what you can control, don't worry about what you can't, think of the worst case scenario and how you can still deal with it. 

Here are some of my 'Worst Case Scenario' fears about this ridiculous thing I've roped all these people into (in no particular order):

1. Everyone hates it, and they hate me for roping them into it
2. I fall in the canal/break a leg/my feet fall off, I let down all the amazing people who have sponsored us, and the rest of the team hate me.
3. I break myself. Mentally, emotionally, physically. And the rest of the team hate me.
4. I get it wrong. Wrong start time/food/rest break/support car/pre-walk hotel plan and the rest of the team hate me.

Ridiculous, I know, but there it is. Fundamentally I've been getting a bit stressed about letting my team down. 

So when I received a link to Three Little Birds from Fran, Fran who we are walking for, Fran who frankly has other stuff to focus on than reassuring my fragile ego, I felt all at once buoyed and chastened. And I realised something else: 

We all have stuff we worry about, stuff that causes us doubts and darker moments. We could stack them all up against each other and have some kind of 'worry-off' (mine's bigger/more likely to happen/more serious). Or we could offer each other little bits of support and encouragement when we have the chance. A smile, shared silliness, a word of encouragement. This link to cute foxes that my husband sent today knowing I was a bit stressy. The email from one of our wider HR team telling me she thought we were great for doing this.

Our team will be needing that in three weeks time. And we'll sure as heck need it tomorrow when we do our first night walk - 8 hours (about 28 miles) starting at 11.30pm and pushing on through to breakfast. I've picked the stuff I can control (favourite socks, waterproof trousers, ending the walk near somewhere that serves breakfast) and am choosing not to worry about the stuff we can't (the fact that it's forecasting thunderstorms). And along the way we'll cheer and encourage and support each other. Because that's what this thing is all about. 

If you want to encourage us, or show your support for Fran, you can sponsor the team here:

www.justgiving.com/FransChallenge